Today, November 9th, 2013, was one of those days I'd rather forget, and I held on to this post until I decided if I was going to just skip posting at all, but I have decided that I'm going to go ahead and post it even if it is a few hours late.
I felt beleaguered for most of the day, and kept wishing I had the luxury of just going back to bed, pulling the cover over my head and staying out of "harm's way", but life and obligations that I had freely accepted kept calling to me.
All during the day things kept "cropping up" that demanded my attention, money, time and energy or all three, and I felt like I was a couple of quarts low on each of them.
Sometime, however, toward evening, I became aware of a rather surprised feeling joining the other, more negative, ones, and that was a certainty that somewhere in my life in the last 20 years or so, I have made a quantum shift in perspective, and I realize that I am more comfortable being happy and upbeat than I was being morose and miserable.
I guess that describes the difference between being a victim and a thriver. I have to pay my respects to that shift, so I spent some time last night thanking God for having helped me to move what once seemed immovable!!
Good for you! You're a much better person than I am. I knew how awful it was for you yesterday, and I wonder if anything has changed in the actual circumstances today (except, of course, your own ability to transcend that)
ReplyDeleteI guess you've noticed that I am not doing the gratitude blog posts this year. In all the years I've started (I think the first year was 2006), I've never completed them. I think back to the many Novembers in my past, and so much went sour. It truly WAS hard to be thankful when the world seemed to be against me. The choice to think positively when among difficulties is something I am still unable (do not know how) -- or maybe stated more accurately -- am unwilling -- to do.
Go You!
I'm not a much better person than you are, Wendy. I just approach my life in some different ways I guess, but that doesn't make me better - only different!!
ReplyDeleteNot so much has changed . . . Best Buy - a la the Geek Squad - is as we speak wiping out everything on my desktop computer preparing to do the system reinstall. It doesn't make any sense to me to cry more tears than necessary over something I simply cannot control. That doesn't make it easier to swallow . . . just makes the suffering a little shorter, maybe.
I thought you completed your gratitude blog posts one year , , , I know you have had your challenges in November in the past and it makes sense that you don't have time OR inclination to write them down. I know you're grateful and you know you're grateful and GOD knows you're grateful. That's what matters :)
Thanks for the encouragement.
I am grateful. I just don't see it easily in the midst of strife or when lots is going on. We are different, but I would rather be more like you. And -- others in my world would also rather I be more like you. I know there are those in my world who do not appreciate my negative outlook.
DeleteHere are two of my November issues that I can recall: When I was in the midst of "rash hell" - I couldn't see past that. When Phantom was sick, then died on November 30th, I couldn't see past that. Now -- as I look back, I can be grateful that I *had* Phantom and loved him, and gave him -- a feral kitty -- a loving home. I can't quite figure out how to feel grateful for that rash, except to that I'm grateful that it's healed and we found the cause. Maybe I'm grateful for the doctor in Hilton Head who actually diagnosed the cause, and I know now not to "go there" again.
You are also correct ... November is an incredibly busy time for me with moving back south, preparations for both Thanksgiving and Christmas, the concert, and this year preparing for our kitchen redo. Most of these things are exciting and wonderful, though all require stressful preparation. I fear stating gratitude for something and then having it all fall away due to a volatile situation. In a way -- I suppose it's best to feel as little as I can so I can push towards getting through the situation, and accomplishing the tasks that need doing. I can more easily feel grateful after the fact, and when little else is going on when I have the luxury of "feeling".
I do have a few questions concerning some of the things you lost on the computer - but here is not the place to ask....